Lunch Money
9/27/2003
BUMS ON BIKES
Some years ago I had the unique experience of watching the limited showing of the live production of Bums on Bikes. It was a high school written , produced and acted two act play that my daughter (aka webmonkey) was involved with. I do not remember much about it except it involved a lot of high school kids riding around the stage uttering lines that I only half heard and understood less. But, My daughter was in it and I was truly the proud Papa.I recently became a "bum on a bike". No, I don’t ride around uttering unintelligible lines, I don’t need a bike to do that, but I did buy a bike and I have become addicted to riding around the excellent bike paths that Bellingham has to offer. We are having the greatest Indian Summer right now and I have found myself counting the work days until the weekend so I can get out and just explore the area by bike. This morning I got up early, finished the last of my chores so I could get out on the path near the Bay during the early morning hours. I was great to be by the bay, feel the fresh ocean air and smell the salty sweetness that only the seashore can produce. As I rounded the north end of Boulevard Park, there she was and she stopped me cold. She was about forty feet long, sloop rigged and well outfitted for sea. She was alone, resting on anchor, in almost flat calm waters with only the occasional small swell that rocked her gently. Her dingy was drifting off the stern and I fantasized the crew snug below, rocked into sweet slumber by her gentle motion.
I spent a long time just watching her as a flood of memories came to me. The many soft foggy mornings at anchor I had laid wrapped in the arms of Morpheus on my own 38’ sailboat Katherine, or the Grampian 31 Nightfall, or the Columbia 26 Nicole. There is no way I can explain to those who have not experienced it, that feeling and sense of security that comes from being tucked away in a snug harbor, anchor well set, aboard a well founded boat. Of course there was no way for me to know what storms this boat had weathered to get to that spot. I know I weathered quite a few during my voyages. Any sailor with some sea time knows that every voyage has the potential for moments of shear terror. But, right then, right there, just for a moment, I envied the crew of that boat as they let her rock them ever so gently like a loving mother with a baby in her arms. Maybe that is why boats are always referred to in the feminine.
Then I rode on.
9/06/2003
One of the things I became aware of years ago, as I learned to sail, was that I could not enjoy what sailing had to offer until I got rid of a lot of the fear that often controlled my actions. I used to spend inordinate amounts of time, money and energy working on the boat, installing oversize rigging, studying sailing techniques and worrying over each voyage. It was not so much afraid of getting hurt or dying or anything so dramatic. Oh no, what drove me was the fear of somehow failing and there in being humiliated. I spent many hours at sea working hard at looking good. And while doing so I missed most of what the voyage had to offer.On one windy afternoon I decided to take my 26’ Columbia out in spite of the small craft waning flags that were flying. The wind was 25 to 30 kts and seas were getting big. But I had just rigged the boat with reefing gear and felt it was time to try it out. All went well on the first two tacks after we left the harbor and I was feeling more confident but edgy as we ran before the wind and seas on our way back to the harbor. It happened in an instant. A large rogue wave came up on our stern, crested, broke and knocked the boat completely down. She wallowed for a moment, shuttered, the stood up, wind caught the sails and off she went as if nothing had happened. Of course I knew different. The cockpit was full of water but draining well. We were all soaked. And, the outboard was trailing behind the boat like some big lure attached only by the safety chain rigged to the outboard mount.
For me it became a small epiphany. The worst had happened. I had been knocked down and for a while I was out of control and at the mercy of the breaking wave. But, the boat took care of herself. She was well built, well rigged and did what she was designed to do. And we, the crew did what we needed to do. We hung on. For me there was no sense of failure or humiliation. I had survived and was feeling exhilarated. We continue on in to the harbor, rescued the dangling motor and secured the boat in her berth. Dried out and warm again I felt a sense that I had gone through something that had the potential to be disastrous and that had not only bonded me to the boat but had change me. From then on every boat I owned became a trusted partner in this thing I call sailing and I came to trust that partners ability to do what she was made to do. I was free to enjoy the sail, to feel the boat move with the sea, to listen to the song she would sing as the wind moved through the rigging, to sense when she was trimmed proper and running free.
I have been able to apply the lesson learned that afternoon to many aspects of my life. And, I have come to grow more and more confident in my ability to handle the breaking waves that come up on my stern. I am now I starting out again after another one of life’s’ knockdowns. My marriage of almost 29 years came to an end and I moved into a small apartment overlooking Bellingham Bay. There is no need for me to write of the details of the divorce. That is too personal for this site and has no relevance to what I am trying to say. What I am feeling is that it is time to slacken the sheets a little, fall off and let the boat run with the weather for a while, she can handle it.
9/03/2003
I've spent the last week and a half trying to work with the most god awful citrix connected program that ties my office with some mega sever in DC. Nothing, absolutely nothing has gone right with this program and almost everyone involved agrees this whole project has been a farse. Add to that virus infections, lockouts and unrealistic deadlines. So as I sit hear in answer to my daughters gentle nag " now that you have broadband connection you'll probably be posting more often, I look at the keyboard, the flickering monitor and the only thought that comes to mind is-------------- BLAHHH
